I grew up in a family that bordered on the line between lower middle class to poor. I never realized until much later in life that we had so little. My parents made sure we had basic necessities and did a very good job at hiding their daily struggles.
I was a ‘gifted’ athlete growing up. Not to the point where you would read about me in your morning sports section but gifted enough to obtain a full scholarship in a Div IA school for football. We were a nationally ranked program (top 10), I played in Bowl games in front of 100,000 people, college girls would literally throw themselves at you, and boosters were always there if you needed anything. It was a big party and I enjoyed every minute of it. After graduating I was not drafted by the NFL or even offered to join a team in their camp. I went on to play two years in the World Football League for a team out of Orlando. Second year, blew my knee out and the dream was over.
Fast forward, I have a good job, meet my wife who has a good job, and we get married. I’m still operating under the ‘Life is a Party’ theory. I’m spending every nickel I make, if I’m not working or partying, I’m in the gym. I’m using Performance Enhancing drugs; I’m unfaithful to my wife whenever the opportunity presents itself. I was one of the most cut throat arrogant people you would ever meet. I wouldn’t think twice about stepping over your bleeding body on the floor if you were in my way. I consider myself an atheist. If I can’t see it or touch it, it doesn’t exist.
Fast forward to late September 2003 we found out my wife was pregnant. Now we had been told that her having a child was not an option. Party! I continue with more of the same. Then a chain of events happened that rocked my world. I did not realize it at the time but it was almost like GOD finally said ‘I’ve had enough of you. If the miracle of your unborn child won’t change you, this will.’
Early November, my wife finally decides she has had enough of my behavior. I come home one morning after partying to find a ‘Dear John’ letter.
Two weeks later, a week before Thanksgiving, I got fired from my job. (It was justified)
In January my wife moves back into the apartment. The pregnancy isn’t going well and she needs to be put on bed rest. She is out of work via FMLA so no money is coming in.
Early March I get home from a job interview that did not go well and the state magistrate is standing in my apartment. My wife is crying and very upset. We were evicted and were given only enough time to grab some clothes and we went to a $40 p/night motel.
Mid March, I go to the bank to grab the last $200 I have to my name. Gone. IRS took it as I owed them about $14,000 in back taxes. So now we are surviving off credit cards. (The one’s that weren’t maxed out already)
Late March, repo man finds out where we are and they take my wife’s car. I had a company car before I was fired so it was our only means of transportation. So I go to the local enterprise and rent a car. I remember standing at the counter handing credit cards to the girl at the counter saying ‘Try this one, Try this one.’
Early April, ten days after the repo man came and a day before my birthday, my wife gets this ‘feeling’ that something is not right. I take her to the emergency room and the doctors take her in right away. Before I know it there are monitors everywhere and a doctor is asking me to step into the hall. He explains that my wife is having contractions because there is something wrong. They feel that her placenta either had or was about to abrupt and they needed to do an emergency c-section. He explains that he can have my son out in 30 seconds if needed. Then he asked me to make the worst decision I have ever had to make. He explained to me that there was high probability that both my son and my wife were not going to make it through the procedure and if he had to make a decision on which to save, which should it be. I told him to save our son as I thought that is what my wife would want. When he left I went to the hospitals chapel, sat down and cried like a baby. For the first time in my life I prayed. Then, as if GOD said ‘I see I have your attention now, I’m going to show you I can be merciful as well.’ The doctor came into the chapel and sat down next to me. He told me my wife was doing well and she was going to be ok. My son was 18inches and 3.8 lbs. He did not need assistance breathing but he would have to spend a few weeks in the NICU. ‘Congratulations, your family is going to be just fine.’
Three days later, my wife and I had returned to our motel room after spending the day with our son in the NICU. I called the local pizza place and placed an order for delivery. (Wondering if the only remaining credit card I had left would still work.) Forty five minutes later no pizza had arrived. I called the place asking where my food was, the girl on the phone explained they were short staffed and one of the delivery boys didn’t show for work. I asked to speak to the manager and explained to him that I had a car and nothing to do, was there any way I could help out. Thirty minutes later I delivered my first pizza.
My son came ‘home’ after four weeks in the NICU. I had received a check for what little was left in my retirement account and bought a car for $800 so I could continue delivering pizzas and we moved into an efficiency apartment.
Shortening the story up a bit as I feel I have taken up enough of your time, I found a job and continued delivering pizzas. We moved into a one bedroom apartment. We had accumulated over $86,000 in unsecured debt and the lawsuits just kept coming over the next 10 months. I owed back taxes, credit cards, and payments on the car that was repo’d. I was looking on the internet for help and advice and I came across a guy by the name of Dave Ramsey. I was cautious and I read some of his work. While I do not believe in everything he says, I am a huge proponent of his program.
To present day, my son will be 8 in April of this year. We are completely debt free. We did not file for bankruptcy; we paid every penny we owed off. My wife is a stay at home mom now, we have an emergency fund that will cover around a year’s worth of expenses, college savings is in place as well as retirement. In June we bought our first house and we paid cash for it.
In summary here is what I have learned through all of this:
I will never be what you may call a ‘Bible Thumper’ but I do believe. The saying ‘The good lord will provide’ is not entirely true. I believe it should be that the lord will provide opportunities. Problem is that at times we are so self absorbed that we may not see them. Look for them; they happen every day to everyone.
No matter how good you think you have it, it can end in an instant. No matter how bad things appear to be, they can always be worse. Be thankful for what you do have and search out those opportunities GOD gives you.
My path now is to help those in need. I know that now, that is why he put me here.
Thanks for reading my story.
